This isn't Kansas

In fact it's the glorious roccoco surroundings of the libary in Trento. However, they only give you 15 mins screen time at a time, so will need to look for a better place to launch my Italian blog episodes... a subito...

Are you going to Oldham?

Grenickers (Greenacres) actually sounds like one of those ghastly diseases of sheep you read about in Thomas Hardy:-

"I'm sorry Farmer Oake, your entire flock will have to be destroyed. I'm afraid your sheep have Grenickers.

National Bus Conductor News

The answer to the previous headline is, of course, "only if my hands get cold".

In a similar vein:-

LONDON
"Are you going to Clapham?"
"Only if they're very good Sir"

"Do you stop at the Ritz?"
"Not on my wages mate"

"Are you going to Turnham Green?"


MANCHESTER
"Are you going to Rusholme?"
"Not unless me house is on fire." (bit subtle that one)

"Is this bus going to Hyde?"
"Only if you upset it Sir."

And my favourite, from LIVERPOOL:-
"Does this bus stop at the pier head?"
"There'll be a bloody big splash if it doesn't Pal".

Well, it's nice to know
Just picked up this disturbing blog which explains that Europe (yes, all of it) is entirely populated by fascist bigots...

Goodfellas

Sad to hear the news of Barry Sheene's death today, following on Adam Faith passing a couple of days ago.

That's two great rock n roll role-models gone in as many days.

"If you're not going to San Francisco"

I finally heard back that I didn't get the DoS job in San Francisco. Oh well, tant pis (my aunt is incontinent).

So I'd sent off a few applications for teaching jobs. Often these disappear into the ether and are never heard of again. So I was quite surprised when the phone rang yesterday and someone asked me to go to Trento in Northern Itlay for three months. Wall, as they say, op. I'm off in three weeks and am going to drive. This blog certainly needs a bit of adventure injecting into it!

We've also found an investment property to buy. It's a really nice two bedroom house. After months of exploring options in Southampton and Bournemouth, we're now going to buy quarter of a mile down the road from home. The house is two doors up from the Cheshire Cheese and the chinese takeaway - I'd certainly rent it! While it's still with the Estate Agents for the next few weeks it can be seen by following this link and searching with £72499 as the minimum price and £72591 as maximum.

Homeboys







Neil sent these piccies taken in the front room at Christmas. Really time to be working on my new persona as white middle-class sushi-trash cappacino rapper Eminess.

Pronounced "Fanshaw"

I worked in Oldham for four years, and swore when I finished I'd never set foot in the place again. So far I've stuck to it, at least in terms of not going into the town centre. Actually, it wasn't a bad place... well actually it's a bloody awful place, but I've got quite fond memories of some of my time there. The first two years I spent working in a day centre for disabled adults. This partly involved me in doing 'primary care' duties - suffice to say these involved the use of rubber gloves. In a strange sort of way though, it was the most satisfying thing I've ever done.

As you drive into Oldham you go under a bridge with a sign saying "Welcome to Oldham, home of the surgical bandage" - it's that sort of a place. Anyway, the point of this posting is that I was looking at Oldham on the map the other day, and it came back to me that not only is it a sublimely ugly town, but it also has the ugliest names for its suburbs of surely anywhere on Earth. Here's a selection:-

Alt
Copster
Grotton
Wellyhole
Derker
Glodwick (pronounced 'Glodick')
Werneth
Mumps
Dog Hill
Failsworth

and surely the daddy of them all:-

Greenacres (Green acres? What's so ugly about that? Well sadly the accepted local pronouciation is 'grenickers'....)